He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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