Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
