will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
