oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
