i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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