I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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