So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
