Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
