it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
