Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
