all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize