if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
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In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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