you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
