we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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