she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
