your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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