He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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