I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I looked at my own cervix.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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