scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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