your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize