i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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