We're facebook friends in real life
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize