I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Houston, we have a squirter
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize