I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
