So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
