i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
