Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
