ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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