i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
