the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize