He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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