considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
