u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
