you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Congratulations! We have a period
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
