I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
