thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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