He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
