Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
