walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
