News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
