And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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