Buhtt sex?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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