is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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