Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
