listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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