Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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