i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
