dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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