I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
