I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize