And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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