i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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