I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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