yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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