What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
