That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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