I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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