I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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