I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And then he peed in my hair
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