You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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