i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
